Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Coping with the Madness

I am home alone, doing something that would get me certified as a mental case if done in public. I am making sudden and rapid changes to my position, moving two to three meters from one spot to the next at a time.

When there are heat surges in the room or I start feeling strange sensations on my skin that protrude some depth into my body, and I suddenly and rapidly switch positions, I get one or two seconds of relief from the heat or sensation.

This is hardly enough to bring complete relief, of course. But then, it isn't always relief that I seek when I do this. When it is relief I want from especially attacks that cause heating coupled with profuse sweating, then the position switching activity has to be repeated for as long as the attack lasts. Rather than skipping to and fro in the room, I achieve this by rocking while I sit in a chair at a random, hard to predict pace.

This, in my experience, impacts sufficiently on the effectiveness of the attack that I will stop feeling as hot as I did moments before, and the heating will not reach heights where I become drenched in sweat.

Mobile phone screens showing signal strength bars

This very same observation where change comes to a status after rapid position change is also made with gadgets, especially those that have inbuilt radios. When, for example, I am using a mobile phone to browse the internet, it is a frequent occurrence for the phone to lose the signal midway through an operation, especially when what I am doing online is something I know those who attack me don't want me to do. This includes posting comments, replying to topics that are sensitive, clicking on links to sites with information that is related or pertinent to research I am conducting, etc.

Experts, of which is one, say network data congestion is one of the main reasons cell tower signal strength constantly changes or breaths while the user is in the same place. But this is not what is happening in my case. I am experiencing changes to signal strength that are indicative of conscious tampering. I live in a sparsely populated region where few people have smartphones, and fewer still who access the internet at all.

Suddenly switching position in the room is sure to alleviate the signal strength problem. The signal almost always recovers, but then, after a few seconds, it falls back to zero and will only recover again if I move to another location in the room, or back to the old one, and so on. If I sit down to make a lengthy composition, then I am advised to save it first before posting.

Dashing about from one place to the next may seem like a weird thing for someone my age to be doing, even when it is being done in the privacy of my home, and I suppose many targets will think so too. Some may say that it has all gotten the better of me, or that it has gone to my head, which is not true.

There is a very good reason why I, a target of covert warfare, should not prevent myself from engaging in activities I know help with the maintenance of a mental and physical state that helps me fare better. If the activity is better kept secret, then so be it. It is hard enough going about my daily business, perceiving attacks, but not doing something about them because people will think things of me.

There is a war being waged on me that aims to destroy me slowly. If there are things I can do to save myself, then I am wise doing those things.

The whole position switching activity isn't just reliable at ameliorating the worst of attacks where no shields are available or insufficient, or browsing the net without frustration, deliberate or not, but it also works as an alternative to a directed energy detector, at least for the context in which I use it. It is also useful in verifying my perceptions, and it also helps lead to the discovery of many other factors connected to the logic of attacks.

In the instance of a beam focussed on a hemisphere of my brain, for example, the fact the sensation stops as soon as I rapidly alter where I am positioned in the room makes it clear that I am under fire, and what almost always occurs afterwards confirms this: the sensation tends to move back to the original spot it was focussed on, passing over other parts of my body, the movement is quick but clearly felt, indicating an external conscious action. Because the beam stays on as it moves to where I am standing, I learn that the one operating the energy weapon is using the beam itself as a tracer. I may also learn from the kind of manoeuvres I make that I am transmitting, etc.

I sometimes think it makes more sense dressing like a medieval knight. It is my responsibility to save myself, after all

Rubber and metal are good shields to combine together and if it was all up to me, then I would parade through the streets dressed in armour made of metal and rubber, covering my entire body, looking like a medieval knight.

But society will not let me do this, or at least I will not go very far with such an attitude. Being in the minority, I cannot afford to go against society because I will lose. But because I know they know not, I have to find a way to put shields on without assaulting their sensibilities. I can put them under my clothes, making sure they are good enough to offer sufficient protection and not be noticed by the public.

In so doing, I am doing something that is unusual by normal standards, that is nonetheless in keeping with what I am going through, something that is helping me survive, helping me keep a level head.

The last thing I want to happen while I languish in this jail they have forced me into is get used to the things that are being done to me, that I ignore what is happening to me, act as if everything is just normal. This is what some people who know I am a target of covert warfare suggest I do. This is what these same people believe will bring about relief from attacks, maybe even stop them.

The problem with this position is that when I make a resolve to act as though it is not happening, when I resolve to ignore it, refuse to test my perceptions in order to be sure I am not imagining things, stop protecting myself, etc., it will not be long before I start thinking my life is as normal as the next man's. The attacks will however still continue, and the damage to mind and body will escalate. The next thing you know is I will be right back with accepting medical mis-diagnoses and taking to shrinks to get some idea of just why I am failing to balance things up mentally, to medications when things start happening to my body, etc.

I will then be more likely to land in a straitjacket than anybody else because of the failure to include in every resulting state a factor that is playing an important role in its creation.

My eyesight deteriorated at an alarming rate, without an infectious cause

It is actually already the case that, not so long ago, I stopped protecting myself and immediately suffered the consequences. I became prone to malaria attacks, vomited after meals, lost too much weight in a short period of time, went from perfect sight to wearing +1.5 specs to see, +2 specs to read, in less than half a year, and an eye specialist could not find a cause.

A hard lesson.

If I repeat this mistake, I will be like a man who steps on a thorn and reasons ignoring this fact will change the status, which will not happen. It is senseless for a target of covert warfare to chose to just let the damage caused by directed energy hits be, in the conviction doing so will make everything alright.

And if I cannot tell my shrink or doctor that I am a target of covert warfare and that I am being bombarded with directed energies almost all the time, then I am wasting my time going to them for help with things that are going wrong with me due to the attacks. Medication and psychological counselling can come in handy in dealing with some conditions that energy weapons cause, but given only I can know this cause, I have no choice but to self psycho-analyse and self medicate. I have to become my own shrink and doctor. I have to educate myself sufficiently in order to be competent at these tasks.

When an individual becomes a target of covert warfare and attacks with directed energies become the main means of their destruction, incremental damage is done to body tissue, starting with brain matter going down to tendons. The damage can become permanent at some point after the attacks if nothing is done to prevent this, and the activity and medication that helps could fall outside the bounds of what everyday people do. Targeted individuals have to accept doing things that other people do not do because they are not going through the same normal experiences that others are. They have to accept doing unusual things if they help them cope with the abnormal.

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