Picture of a drone taken ca. 8pm local time, located west of my location, hovering very low above the tree lines, that made tracks as soon as it became apparent I was click clicking away at the camera.
A lot of things are happening in my life right now forcing me to reassess my stance towards this system, my survivability and hard wired need to save my genes myself, knowingly, and in between these re-assessments I make discoveries again and again, sometimes of things I knew but temporarily forgot, things that are really not necessary to do, or things so unbelievable I find myself prompted to ask once again: "how did it come to this?"
The other question I find myself asking time and time again is really asked regarding the reactions I made to the uninvited invasions or intrusions into my private life. "How did I place myself in the position of one defending the weak? Of one helping them see a way out of their imprisoned status, if it can be called this?"
Selfishness is involved in the choices I made and continue to make. I am not starting off from a selfless position of one who believes making things better for others is automatically good, that it always works out positively, by this meaning cutting the brush and decorating one's surroundings leads to blissful existence always.
True, such care of one's habitat does wash off positively on one but thinking the mere effort or success of the initial venture is going to do this in and by or of itself, that I only need to wait for all else to follow is ideological bankruptcy. I do not believe all else always follows some kind of success made in some venture. One has to constantly work to ensure that they are on course to attaining what it is they want to attain, which means guiding something along, or if it concerns victory that one has set one up properly to be able to retain or keep it.
It should remain a never ending quest. There should factually be no rest for the weary.
This is why I do often find myself thinking or focussing on myself, being selfish especially with my wherewithal. The question I ask then is do I have what it takes to lead people of different races, denominations and nationalities out of slavery to freedom?
The answer to this and many more questions I find in how my life has turned out to be a long story.
I do not deceive myself about who I am, especially not about my fitness to lead a cause. I have learnt to trust my perceptions and they tell me everyday that somewhere on planet earth exists an international power bothered about the very fact I live.
And the pertinent question to this bizarre state of affairs is "how could it have come to this" as opposed to "how did it come to this?" Of interest to me in asking this question in this precise manner is/are the factors that acted as causal agents in the ensuing, disagreeable state where some person born very far from where I live came to see my demise as a prerequisite for his life to go on. I mean things cannot possibly get more messed up in the head of somebody that their very separate existence comes to be connected to mine now, can it?
Only a dedication to razor thin, precise rules of logical deduction gets me the correct answers.
Along the way a lot has become very plain. I can stand here today and utter but the word "stultification" to sum up the fact something went very wrong in somebody's past, a past in which they summoned a demon that dishes out such torment they find it necessary to pass the curse onto me in this present to at least be freed from it.
It is in trying to escape a self inflicted fate that this person has seen me, somebody born away from where they are born, as the point where they will be released from their burden. Well ... all kinds of stuff happens in life and to that I can only repeat a phrase that sums up the outcome, albeit makes the interloper a bit more anxious, and it is that in duels of this kind the best man always wins ...
This truth I shall always arrive at whether I complicate the logic I use in my rationalisation en-route ... twist, reverse or interpret ... as I wade my way through the obstacles that stand ready to turn my thinking into a fallacy ... But as sure as sure can be, even when I fail in my efforts to enlighten, I shall never take on a curse meant for another. That ... just doesn't happen.
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